The Negative Side of Being Positive...

My last blog was a bit of a rant about some rubbish advice a friend of mine received to “avoid stressful situations”.  I’m going to delve a little deeper into examples of stressful situations over the next few weeks and how you could support yourself.

Let’s take the example of a cancer diagnosis. How would you respond? How have you responded?

We’re all told that having a positive attitude is key to beating cancer.

Yes and No.

If your positive attitude involves glossing over and pushing away feelings of fear, anxiety, sadness, anger then NO! This positive attitude simply denies your feelings with a thin veneer of happy clappy on the outside while you are literally dying on the inside.

If your positive attitude involves accepting and meeting your feelings of overwhelm, sadness and fear the YES! Accepting doesn’t mean falling into self-pity or throwing your hands up in despair, taking no action. Accepting means an honest acknowledgement of where you are at, a coming to terms with the thoughts, feelings and reality of your situation.

This more sober approach creates space for feelings to move. It’s when we pretend things aren’t there or push away/distract ourselves that feelings push back, getting bigger and bigger.

A (heartfelt) mindfulness practice is NOT about repeating positive affirmations (in your mind) or focussing on physical things to distract yourself.

A Heartfelt Mindfulness practice IS about supporting you to come to terms with the cards life deals you; IS about giving you tools to acknowledge and accept your emotions. This gives you space in your body, in your heart to find appreciation of your life.

You can use your breath as a step towards this. Take a moment right now. Put your hands on your lower tummy. Breathe to your hands. Notice the inhale and the exhale. Do nothing but this for a few moments.