Some Really Bad Advice...

Heads up, today is a bit of a rant...

A friend of mine went to the doctor recently with various health issues and was told that they should “avoid stressful situations”. This advice, in my opinion, is about as much use as a chocolate fireguard. Actually, it’s worse. It’s not only useless advice, I’m calling it out as harmful advice (*see disclaimer below).

What  are we meant to do when we see the bodies piling up in Gaza? What are we meant to do when we read of cases of child abuse or of homeless people dying in the cold?

What are we meant to do with financial pressures or simply the ups and downs of life, loved ones dying, being in relationships, having kids or not having kids?

[What are we meant to do when we realise we’ve sent an email to our ENTIRE mailing list with the subject heading “blank” and no content?] Yes, I did this yesterday 

What are we meant to do when our kids are having a meltdown or we get rejected for a job or we’re in a caring role for a loved one who is mentally or physically unwell?

To be told to “avoid stressful situations” is like being told to separate yourself from humanity; drop your compassion or that somehow you are responsible for controlling the world around you to be happy clappy at all times.

“Avoid stressful situations” is as unrealistic and disempowering as it comes.

Life is stressful. If you have asthma the thought of your next breath might be stressful; if you’re 8 months pregnant, the next 6 weeks may feel a little stressful; if you’re trying to conceive, moments of lovemaking are going to be stressful. If you don’t want to have kids and you feel society pressure and opinion weighing on you, that will be stressful. If you’re faced with your parents’ death and you know there will be squabbles over inheritance then that will be stressful.

Stress ain’t the issue. It’s how we meet it that makes the difference. And in meeting the small stresses of life we can be equipped for the big ones.

My advice--if you find yourself in a stressful situation--be kind to yourself, stay compassionate to yourself and others. You can do this without falling into the drama of a story, you don’t need to feed the stress, but jeez, give yourself permission to be where you are. If you’d like to learn some tools to STAND STEADY in stress then reach out.

𝙀𝒎𝙢𝒂 𝒙

*first disclaimer to the above

I know it's not intentionally harmful advice